Monkey Business
by Sniggyfrumps
Summary: Drabble collection with content ranging from pointless fluff to flat-out insanity. #9 A tale of betrayal and dieting. Mandarin/Otto friendship.
1. Inappropriate

**A/N: **Yes, I changed my username to Sniggyfrumps, 'cause that's the name of my DeviantArt account. Have you had a look? I take requests if you're polite/patient about it.

Also, the poll asks for funny, the poll gets teh funneh - Awkward humour? I've got that. IN SPADES.

* * *

**Inappropriate**

In the confines of the Super Robot's engine room, the green and blue monkeys were working diligently.

Otto grinned at Gibson and threw him an unfinished apparatus - it only needed the holes for having power cords attached. "Drill me, Gibson," he said jovially.

The blue scientist grimaced as he caught the device; handling it with care while looking up at Otto, a frown on his face as he wasn't quite sure he wanted to start this specific conversation. "... I do wish you wouldn't word your request in that particular fashion, Otto."

"Huh? Why?"

"It sounds.... inappropriate."

The hissing sound of the door opening made Otto turn to the doorway and the green monkey blurted out at the newcomer: "What's wrong with Gibson drilling me?"

At first, Sprx just stared mutely at the innocent-looking mechanic. Then, seeing the aghast expression on Gibson's face, he put on an air of maturity that made the fur of the blue monkey stand on end in dreaded suspicion.

"Why, Otto, we live in an accepting, liberal, and multi-cultured society where there is room and understanding for everybody, regardless of their choice of lifestyle. As a tolerant and experienced individual, it is my adult opinion that Gibson can drill you all he wants if he so desires."

"Feel perfectly free to _stop talking_," Gibson hissed and tightened his grip on the device which crumpled in response with a low, metallic screeching.

"Hm, I thought scientists were supposed to be open-minded and curious?" Sprx said while poking at his lip in mock innocent curiosity.

"You mean, like, experimenting and such?" Otto asked.

Sprx turned to the green monkey, surprised and greatly amused. "Yes, Otto, that's _exactly_ what I mean," he said and grinned so wolfishly it made Gibson's sense of dignity run to the corner sobbing hysterically.

It didn't make the situation any better when Sprx suggested that Otto should lend Gibson his 'power tools' sometime and Otto then wondered aloud if Gibson had ever played doctor before he joined the Hyperforce.

Much later that day, Nova found the red and green monkeys bound, gagged, and giggling in the broom closet.


	2. Galactic Smash: Highscore

**A/N: **beautybelle300256 wrote her personal ending for the series (it's in her delightful Drabble collection; the one called 'Brouhaha' (cor, that's a queer word)), so I thought I'd match it up with some nonsense of my own – because I'm the 'non' to her 'sense'.

* * *

**Galactic Smash: Highscore**

As the magnificent silhouette of the Super Robot rose above the masses of defeated Formless Minions, the cheer of the crowd grew to uncomfortable decibels of ecstasy.

The sun shone off the metallic limbs of their proudly standing simian heroes. The victorious Power Primate prodigy smiled – Chiro was truly happy and at ease for the first time in months since the War started. Everybody felt free and triumphant at the definite victory over the Evil that had for so long threatened Shuggazoom City and the universe.

Chiro went forward to speak to the crowd: "Citizens of Shuggazoom City," the teen spoke, full of bravado. "Skeleton King is gone. We're finally free. We won!"

The Citizens broke into another ear-splitting cheer as if they weren't quite aware that this was why they'd been celebrating non-stop for the last seven hours.

"We're finally free," Chiro sighed contently and turned to Jinmay who beamed at the thought of all the free time they'd have together – going for moonlight walks, having candle-lit dinners, goofing around at the lake.

"No more clouds to dim my sunshine," she giggled and kissed the Chosen One on the cheek.

"Except that one," Otto squinted and pointed at a slowly growing dot in the sky.

Gibson shaded the sunlight with the back of his hand. "It appears to be approaching at a high rate, what _is_—oh dear Shuggazoom I think it's a b—"

* * *

When the planet of Shuggazoom exploded in a ball of bright lights (being accompanied by a very pleasing 'pop' sound) the Commodore cackled to himself and gathered his stained-by-greasy-snacks sausage-like fingers into a sweaty fist and shook it at the digital image of the quickly dispersing pink space dust.

"And that last blow makes the high score!" he declared priggishly and flailed his saggy arms around some more. "Take that Shaggysomething City and whatshisface boy with the apes. Whatever. I won! _I wonnnnn._" The Commodore coughed violently when his screaming over-exerted his heart; weak from years of artery-clogging fast foods and lack of proper exercise aside from that of twiddling his thumbs at various control consoles.

"Incoming message," one of the underlings informed the Commodore. The screen behind his grotesque amounts of body mass lit up and an all too familiar smirk was in his face.

"Maurice. Come to witness my glorious victory, have you?"

"What? Oh, don't tell me you're still on about Galactic Smash? Ah, of course you are." As Maurice merrily went on, the Commodore's victorious enthusiasm grew minutely weaker. "I just came to see if you were still stuck on that; it's child's play for newbies and lamers – you see, all the _elite gamers_ are playing Cosmic Crash."

"Wha— Cosmic Crash?"

"Oh, so you've heard of it?" Maurice said with smug cheerfulness. "The first player to destroy one of the four dimensions of time and space wins the Prize."

"The Prize?" The Commodore said; his eyes alight with greed.

"Yeeeah, you get a head-start on Ultra Existence Eradication. Well, have fun with your old-fashioned planetary genocide, mate. All us cool kids are gonna pick apart the Universe by the seams - cheers!" The transmission went out with a faint 'bloooop' sound.

The Commodore sat staring at the black monitor very quietly. Some of the subordinates moved about quietly, expecting to have their eardrums pierced by a fit of gamer rage any minute now…

"DAMN YOU MAURICE! DAMN YOUUUUU! I'm going to undo the laws of physics before you do THIS I SWEAR—!"

* * *

**A/N: **Kids! Parents! Concerned friends! - It's not too late to talk to your peers about the dangers of Gamer Rage – it destroys basic hygiene, lives, and sometimes planets.  
(Although… if somebody told me that the Universe would make a funny 'pop' noise if you blew it up, I'd totally go for it.)


	3. Spova Limericks

**A/N: **I wanted to make Belle smile... and it just... spiralled out of control.

* * *

**Spova Limericks**

On the shoulder of the Robot, Red and Yellow sat  
Now in the later stages of their daily Spova spat:  
Sprx said something stupid,  
Nova's still shunning cupid,  
Thus it ended with Sprx sent flying by a mighty slap

There once was a red robot monkey called Sprx  
Of whom a yellow comrade was tired of his larks  
So to finally have peace  
And get rid of his sleaze  
She verbally berated him until it left marks

Sprx coos lovely words in Nova's ear  
She in turn promises to kick his rear  
Despite of her fists  
His flirting persists  
The need for romantic abuse overcomes his fear

Sprx has learned that loving Nova is a dangerous art  
At times she's fairly cuddly and mostly she's tart  
But, Sprx – don't dramatise  
'Cause I fear I can't sympathise  
Nova's high maintenance – you knew that from the start

Sprx was skipping through the Robot with bliss  
In his paws a gift to ensure a Spova kiss  
But when he gave it to her  
She nearly tore off his fur  
Nova didn't much care for the dirty limerick of his

* * *

**A/N: **Next: Antova sonnets and Gibotto haiku!*

* That's a lie.


	4. Head Games

**A/N: **Along with preseries stuff I think Sprx/Gibson interaction is deserving of my unrelenting adoration. They just play off each other _so well_.  
Belle gave me the title 'cause my inspiration for those things are as vast and deep as the empty cereal box in my kitchen cupboard. (Memo: buy more Cheerios)

Also: I'm resetting the poll so if you want me to write less humour/fluff and start angsting it up or write more break-up fics or attempt serious romance _without_ break ups _or _rhyming - now would be your chance. I am heavily influenced by your opinions because I'm a pushover.

* * *

**Head Games**

It was the sounds of an enraged scream, a bone-shattering crash, and an all too common yelp of pain that drove Gibson out of his laboratory for the umpteenth time since he cared to remember (which he didn't). Having grabbed the first aid box on his way, the blue cyborg arrived at the scene of crime just in time to see Nova storming off and leaving a heap of groaning red pilot on the floor.

"I think you ought to have realized by now that Nova does not care much for Blonde Jokes," Gibson said wisely and inspected the chin of his red brother which was turning a lovely shade of purple. "I do worry for your masochistic tendencies Sprx," he said in a tone of voice that clearly indicated he had better uses for the stack of band-aids than to spend them on the results of the pilot's tactless whims.

"I can't help it," Sprx grinned broadly; still slightly woozy from the latest Nova-beating. "I just go all funny in the head whenever I'm near her, y'know?"

"That might have something to do with the dent in your helmet." Gibson's hand hovered over the second product of Sprx' lack of judgement.

"It's not the bruises that make me go and say stupid things that I _know_ will annoy her."

"No, I'm pretty sure the _blunt head trauma_ would explain that," the scientist said flatly.

Sprx winced as Gibson poked his battered head. "She wouldn't be so angry if she didn't care, y'know?"

"I'm sure no argument of mine would make you re-evaluate that hypothesis."

Sprx grinned wholeheartedly. "Just keep the first aid box around, all right?"

The red monkey picked himself up and wandered off - no doubt to make an idiot of himself yet again, only for his wittiness to be returned to sender in the form of fists and kicks.

Tomorrow, Gibson would again plop the medical box beside the beaten up pilot and he would once more recommend his brother to not taunt the hot-headed warrior if he wished to be in possession of any working brain cells by the end of the month. And Sprx would yet again brush Gibson off because his red brother was hopelessly addicted to this violent routine.

Why? Because Sprx - for some utterly unfathomable reason - went 'funny in the head' when Nova was in close proximity. What good did _that_ bring _any_ of them, if he might be so bold to ask? Nova got furious and cranky; Sprx was battered into a one-digit Intelligence Quotient; and Gibson had to interrupt his studies day-in and day-out to try and mend the sorry results.

It was a lose-lose situation if Gibson ever saw one. No wonder love was supposedly 'a loser's game'. Even if you were not playing it - or betting on it – one seemed to come out short.

Love. It was a dangerous, irresponsible, and hormonally insane concept; yet people seemed so intent on falling head over heels into it and evolution didn't seem to want to eradicate the option to do so any time soon. Perhaps it might be good for _something _then.

Gibson sighed and closed the first aid box. Hopefully something _besides_ emptying the medical supplies - love was expensive for the doctors who had to patch up the love-sick and love-pummeled victims.


	5. Flawed

**A/N: **Oh ffffu-fiddlesticks there's this drabble collection that wants updating sometimes. Sorry, I was busy - there's this snack which is a blend of Rice Krispies and marshmallows and I was baffled by how something can taste so disgusting yet be utterly delicious at the same time. Serious business.

Did you like the recent Spovaness? Well, here's something else entirely: The prequel to 'Flawless' (my preseries Antova oneshot). Beware of fluffy Nova.

**

* * *

****Flawed**

It happened after another session of Antauri instructing Nova in meditation poses in order to help the yellow warrior monkey control her often strong mood-swings.

They made to leave the Training Room and Nova stepped a bit closer than their usual social interaction dictated and expressed her gratitude for his relentless teachings. The spiritual advisor smiled and answered that it was nothing; aiding Nova in amending her temperamental flaws was a duty he was pleased to fulfil.

When she clasped his hand in hers, Antauri admittedly grew nervous - because whenever the yellow warrior took anybody by the hand it was mainly because she planned on swinging them over her head and into solid objects that would break you upon impact. But when several seconds passed and he didn't go airborne Antauri turned to Nova, confused as to what reason she might have for wanting to instigate non-violent, physical contact.

She cocked her head slightly and looked amused at his puzzled reaction. "I was thinking we might do _this_," she held up their joined hands to underline what she meant, "more often."

"Oh? ... why?" Antauri asked warily; uncertain of what they were to achieve by doing so, but not wanting to offend the combat specialist of the Hyperforce.

"Because it'd be... nice. ... Don't you think so?"

A slight pause commenced as Antauri seemed to mull over the finer implications of Nova's request.

"... yes." He finally said. "Yes, I believe it would." Antauri squeezed her hand slightly – cautiously; as if venturing into unknown, dangerous territories he hadn't ever considered he might enter and wondering how many first aid kits he'd need to take with him.

A rare, girlish smile slightly curved the edges of the snow-white muzzle of the sun-flower coloured warrior who then made to exit the room. She gently tugged to make him follow when he hesitated. "C'mon. We should go for a walk. Talk about stuff."

"Very well," Antauri said and followed her out into the hallway where they ran into the red monkey.

"Hey guys, if you're done learning how to fall asleep sitting up it's time for supper; we're having spicy pumpkin soup—" as Sprx rattled on, his eyes fell on Antauri's paw tentatively reciprocating Nova's firm hand cuddle.

The yellow monkey tensed as Sprx' smile grew wide and lecherous: "Although ya might've got all the _spice_ you need _right there_, 'Tauri," he grinned and winked extremely suggestively at the befuddled black monkey.

Seven seconds later the wall had a Sprx-shaped dent and Sprx had a wall-shaped face.

Antauri sighed, somewhat calmed by this display of normal, Nova-behaviour but also disapproving of it for the same reasons. "... I would say it looks like you will need more lessons still, Nova."

She kept herself from smiling like a brain-dead schoolgirl again. It was nice having flaws if having them meant that somebody you liked would try to help you remedy these faults – by spending oodles of time with you alone.

"Why yes, yes it does," Nova answered and smiled pleasantly at the groaning mass of red cyborg and bruises – then kicked him in the shin when he smugly gave her a thumbs-up and mumbled something about being 'hot for the teacher'.

She supposed she could live with attending remedial courses for the rest of her live if being flawed equalled slapping Sprx around _and _snugly interlacing her fingers with Antauri's as they made for the park.


	6. Everyday Chit Chat

**A/N: **I must have slept on my brain wrong or something.

**

* * *

**

**Everyday chit-chat**

On the shoulder of the Super Robot, the blue and green monkeys were engaging in an intellectually stimulating conversation:

"Wouldn't it be cool to be invisible?"

"Why in the heavens would you ever want to be invisible?"

"Why _not_? You could sneak around and go into people's rooms and read their comics and help yourself to the raisin cookies they're hiding under their bed. I'm sure I could get used to bumping into people all the time."

"This situation would of course be completely unrelated to the new lock Chiro requested I put on his door?"

"I didn't do nuthin'."

"'Innocent until proven guilty' is not an acceptable line of reasoning when there are crumbles in your fur. Wipe your mouth, please."

"Oh. Oops."

"Anyway, the physical state of invisibility - which you would achieve by having your body not absorb and reflect light - would bring some rather troublesome issues. For one, you'd be blind. Your retinas need to absorb light in order to perceive light and without visible retinas you would be sightless. Additionally, any physical processes that allocate your cell structure with the refraction index of air have so far proven lethal."

"I'm sure I could work around that thing."

"The _dying_ 'thing'?"

"Yeah, all it would take was a little elbow-grease and a trip to the chemical waste factory. We'll make a picnic out of it!"

"... this isn't going to turn out like the time Antauri endeavoured to educate you on Moldy Floggybog's philosophy of Indeterminate Realms of Existence whilst you were watching that daft monster movie marathon?"

"Oh, it wasn't like I turned evil and engineered a swarm of cybernetic flamingos that spat out dandruff on fire and set them loose to rain burny, flaky doom on Shuggazoom City."

"... _yes_ it was _precisely_ like that, if I remember correctly - _and I do_, because I've _still_ got the scorch marks to prove it."

"... oh yeah, heh. Sprx liked them, though."

"Of course he did – they declared him their demigod and made us worship him unquestionably. They forced me to erect an _effigy_ of homage _in my sleeping tube._"

"... well, Antauri didn't take it too badly either."

"That was because he was _unconscious_ during most of the ordeal."

"Really, he should have been more specific when he asked me if I could practice what I'd learned that day."

"Indeed, the practical appliance of knowledge has never proven more mentally scarring..."

"..."

"..."

"I wish they hadn't made Chiro belly dance when they tried ta ceremoniously sacrifice Nova."

"I think we all wish to forget that particular chain of events."

"Yeah, he always struck me as a Morris dance kinda boy; although the beads and the purple skirt matched his scarf very nicely. I could've gone without knowing how much lint he stores in his belly button, though."

"... I could've very well gone without this _entire_ conversation, Otto."

"..."

"..."

"Wouldn't it be cool to have X-ray vision?"

* * *

**A/N: **Gibson mentions the 'refraction index of air' in his little geekgasm. Very basically it's to do with light passing through stuff and how the light rays are being bent as it goes from one medium to another: like from water to air to water. It's important in the way that the eye perceive stuff by absorbing light rays and if your body structure had the refraction index of air you'd theoretically be invisible (also: dead).  
I can't be arsed to explain further and I'm quite sure nobody really cares.


	7. Happy Hacking

**A/N**: Let's see, what do I have for you today... innuendo, childish humour, off-screen violence... tell me, am I becoming predictable?

* * *

**Happy Hacking**

Gibson stomped into the lounge looking like the proverbial thunder cloud bent on showering rainy misfortune on an idyllic picnic scene and headed towards the video game system where Sprx was trying to beat Chiro's high score. Otto watched and cheered whenever an enemy band of spaceships exploded into tiny groups of pixels on the screen while Nova was busy planning out the training sessions for the coming month.

The usually verbose scientist loomed over the couch behind the red monkey, sputtering and unable to form coherent sentences out of sheer indignation. He pointed a trembling finger at Sprx who decisively ignored it.

Otto regarded Gibson curiously. "Whatsa matter Gibson? Did Chiro fall into the hyperdrive? Again?" Otto asked wide-eyed at the prospect.

Gibson treated Otto to a withering stare and turned back to Sprx. "_Somebody_ programmed my scanner to repeatedly display _this_." He practically shoved his handheld scanner in Sprx's face. The red monkey irritably paused the game and whacked the device away, out of Gibson's paws and onto the couch.

Nova and Otto curiously leaned in to see the words "_I'm Mr Hal Gibson and I compensate with long, boring words"_ flashing proudly on the screen in addition to being accompanied by a crudely pixellated animation of a blue monkey scratching its rear and happily eating a banana.

"How do you know it was Sprx?" Otto asked innocently. Nova just rolled her eyes at him and turned back to her planning, determined on keeping out of this for as long as possible.

"_Because_," Gibson hissed venomously and dug his fingers into the fabric of the couch. "When I hacked the program the override password turned out to be _Sprx-77 is the red hot demon of you're dreams._ And Sprx, you misspelled _'you're'_. That possessive pronoun does not utilize an apostrophe you insufferable brat!"

"Monkeydoodle if I'd known you'd _grade_ me on—" Sprx slapped a hand over his mouth. He peeked sheepishly at Gibson who had retracted his robotic hand in favour of a particularly vicious-looking probe.

Sprx grinned cheekily. "How about a head start? For the sake of brotherly love?"

"I am going to pop open your helmet and replace that spot of laughably-connected neurons you call a brain with something twice as substantial - such as the bathroom loofah."

Sprx bolted for the transport tubes before Otto could point out that Chiro would need the loofah in the morning.

Gibson strode after the red monkey with grim determination painted on his face. Otto looked on with a mixture of concern and curiosity before he turned to Nova. "Aren't ya gonna...?" He nodded in the direction where bad things were most likely about to happen to Sprx.

Nova took a quick glimpse at Gibson's discarded scanner which now did indeed declare that '_Sprx-77 is the red hot demon of you're dreams'._

She shuddered. "Maybe later."


	8. Jolly Holiday

**A/N: **Now, see, I'm a major shipper of Slingshot and Jinmay. I love it because they're relatively unexplored characters, because Nova has been sufficiently whored out for any pairing with her to be rather dull at this point, because this pairing has equal potential for serious-emotional-angsty-whatsit and lighthearted fluff, and lastly because it's ROBOT LURVE! Oh and I'd get to break up Chinmay, a pairing I'm not partial to (it's boring). That's always a plus.

Oh, and the title is from the Mary Poppins song bearing the same name. 'cause Belle pointed it out and it was just too cute.

* * *

**Jolly Holiday**

Slingshot regarded the flyaway strands of pastel-coloured hair as they danced over smooth, round features for a minute before Jinmay turned to talk at him again.

The pink android was a strange mix of all the annoying, wishy-washy characteristics of the female gender, in a laser-eyed, action girl, battle-hardened machine. One minute she was picking off Formless Minions like they were made of bubble-wrap and the next she was giggling cutely and politely nodding at random passersbyers on the street.

What was stranger was that Slingshot was allocating time and fuel cells to engage in a Sunday stroll through the Shuggazoom City Park with her. Apparently, Jinmay thought it a necessity that she should educate him on the impractical social practices of dancing-around-the-subject (also known as 'manners').

So what if the boy and his ridiculously outdated robot monkeys didn't like his bluntness? He wasn't here to attend their airy-fairy tea parties that supposedly passed for strategy meetings; he was here to put his bluntness to use on the battlefield by applying it directly to the forehead of the enemy. And, really, if the Citizens couldn't even recover from a few hectares' worth of total structural obliteration then it wasn't a civilization worth defending.

Since the Hyperforce didn't quite agree with that last statement Slingshot found himself walking alongside Jinmay, trying not to fall into screensaver mode whilst pretending to be listening to her squeaky voice. Because feigning interest in whatever utterly pointless claptrap somebody was waffling on about was apparently a 'polite' gambit. As opposed to straightforwardly telling them you weren't paying attention, nor had any intention of doing so.

Manners are also strange things at times – sometimes they're akin to deceptive manoeuvres, in that you employed them solely for the purpose of gaining something from the other party; be it of monetary value, acquiring new knowledge, or just for the sake of company (... not that this was for the sake of company. That would be irrationally human behaviour.); and sometimes, as Jinmay would have him believe, manners were the oil that made the gears of society spin effortlessly (well, why couldn't they just invent Instant Matter Transportation like half of the Universe already had?).

"It's also considered polite to actually listen even though you're not interested," Jinmay said.

"I'm not a blank-minded action figure toy. I know these things by now," Slingshot answered. "I just don't particularly care."

"I think you should try to care. It'll make everything easier in the long run," Jinmay said.

"The time your carbon-based allies waste on avoiding the actual subjects by looking at each other funny and grimacing and wriggling their eyebrows and uttering pointless strings of sentences instead of discussing actual battle schematics—"

"Slingshot..."

"Yes, yes, I know. I'm supposed to be sorry now."

Jinmay let loose an exasperated sigh – something she only did in the company of the dark blue combat android. Then she turned to him with something of that fire in her eyes he'd seen when she was about to adorn the goo soldiers with blowholes and skull ventilation. It was a fire he knew well – he seemed to have a knack for inducing it. It... suited her.

"I'm trying to help everybody _get along_. I'm not here to 'fix' you, you know."

"Oh, _really_? I thought I was a 'fixer-upper'."

"No," Jinmay said flatly. "Because when you apply Do It Yourself to any sort of relationship something has obviously gone wrong."

When he didn't reply with anything involving snark (well, to be fair he didn't reply at all) she must've assumed that he'd learned the lesson of 'think before you speak' (or at least 'if you can't say something without scathing sarcasm dripping from every other word, don't say anything at all') because she then smiled faintly and gestured again toward the inner parts of the park – apparently they were going to retry strolling along the playgrounds _without _Slingshot telling the children whom of them were 'mistakes,' and who was just ugly. As he recalled, Jinmay had made quite a fuss the last time _that_ happened.

Perhaps... perhaps it wouldn't be too unreasonable to assimilate just a few of these 'polite' traits into his programming for the sake of 'getting along' with his temporary allies. But not too many. Otherwise she might not see any other reason for these walk-and-talks... and without that there'd be no more strolling around with Little Miss Manners... because Slingshot hadn't integrated enough human behaviour to overcome his programming and be to able ask her out for a walk.

Even if he had integrated enough of it to find himself wanting to.


	9. Rainbow Glory Swirlies

**A/N: **Requested by VampireLoverD; since she suggested a Mandarin/Otto thing instead of her trademark obsession/love for Antova I wanted to write it for her. Only took me... four months or so. Hey, now, I do fulfill my promises. They're just... a tad bit late. Sometimes.

* * *

**Rainbow Glory Swirlies**

Mandarin squinted in barely contained anger at the five monkeys facing him in a perfect semicircle. His tightly fisted hands shook in a show of poorly veiled scorn at the sheer amount of disrespect his would-be subordinates showed by opposing him so openly. How _dare they? _The _traitors_.

And Otto – that tittering turncoat who had once sworn fierce loyalty – had showed his true colours by being the worst of them all and initiating this… this… _rebellion_.

Even Antauri was against him now; sending him a fairly amused frown as Otto continued to wiggle the infamous origin of the debacle – a liquorice-flavoured ice-cream - under the muzzle of the orange Hyperforce Leader.

"You can_not _be serious," the orange leader said and looked extremely offended at the proffered snack food.

"Oh but we are. Deliciously so," Sprx grinned and tauntingly waved his own chocolate ice-cream in front of Mandarin. "I can eat yours if this frozen foe is too much for you to handle."

Mandarin pointedly ignored the red pilot and increased his glare tenfold. The other monkeys more or less expected the ice-cream in Otto's hand to up and melt under the ferocious glare of their snubbed Leader.

"Aww, c'mon Mandy – we worked hard to save Shuggazoom from total oblivion and the Citizens jus' wanted ta' repay us."

"If they truly wanted to repay us they would erect a statue to our honour - not name a brand of _ice-cream_ after us," Mandarin sneered.

"What's wrong with Rainbow Glory Swirlies?" Otto asked. "It's a good name! I like it!"

"I did not undertake a life-long mission of battling the forces of Chaos and Evil only to be remembered as the name of origin of the saturated fats on the thighs of a bunch of fattened, feeble _humans_ who spend all their time gorging themselves on snack foods instead of lifting one finger to protect themselves from Ultimate Evil!"

Otto regarded Mandarin thoughtfully for a few seconds before nodding: "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Of course. A balanced diet is essential in order to keep focused and fit."

"Oh, okay. I'm sorry I didn't realise ya were dieting."

"I meant for _all _of us," Mandarin snapped.

"Do _we_ have to?—uh, I mean—You can do it if ya want to 'cause..."

"... you are not _insinuating _anything are you_?_"

"I didn't say you were fat," Otto blurted out.

"Were you _thinking_ it?"

"I… didn't say you were fat."

A vein throbbed dangerously on Mandarin's forehead but this phenomenon went blissfully ignored by Otto. Behind him, Nova and Gibson slowly evacuated from the spot near Otto that was soon to become a Ground Zero if the mechanic kept on blathering moronically. As it turned out, he did:

"And, uh, even if I thought ya were fat—I don't!—you're not, nuh-uh. You just have large bones, yeah," Otto said in a jovial manner meant to reassure but managed to do nothing of the sort since the Hyperforce Leader now looked positively ready to commit first-degree murder.

"Give it here," he growled.

"Wha?"

"_Give it here!"_ Mandarin hissed; he angrily snatched the ice-cream from Otto's hand, and grudgingly sat down while trying to look like he was enjoying it out of spite.

When Otto remarked that he was sure Mandarin would look adorable with love-handles and Sprx commended him for standing up to the strict norms of conventional beauty, Mandarin grabbed them both by the tails and flung them into the lake. And stole their ice-cream to boot.


End file.
